Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Medicine Man from AZ

Looking at the playback machine the Medicine Man from AZ saw a likeness of himself proclaim, "I am the deregulator, I think there should be no restrictions on corporations, they should have the same rights as people." The Medicine Man from AZ felt trapped, his mind scrambled for a story that would draw the People's attention from what they just saw, he looked into the camera, "My Friends," he began, "did you know that the Dark Wizard has friends in the inner circle of the those that control the playback machine and I will expose who they are, and I will make them famous!!!". Looking around the crowd and realizing that the People were confused, the Medicine Man from AZ quickly took advantage of the situation and said, "As I travel the country in the True Talk Express Wagon, I see the pain of the working class, that is why I have decided on a plan that will put the teeth in the regulations that I have always fought for throughout my life. I have named this plan after my partner because I am so proud of her, my friends, my plan is called the Plain and Simple Plan. When you buy this plan you too will have the plan." Seeing that the crowd was now totally distracted from the playback machine the Medicine Man from AZ continued, "My Friends, this plan is complete unlike the Dark Wizard who believes in restrictions on Corporate Tax Breaks, my Plain and Simple Plan lays out a plan that will implement the regulation plan that we need in order to regulate what has to be regulated, and if the Chief Regulator does not buy my Plain and Simple Plan, I will fire the Chief Regulator and you will know his name, I will make him famous!!!" With that the Medicine Man from AZ signaled the paid agitators in the crowd to begin holding up their money and calling out for a copy of the plan as they began to shout, "No more pain, Plain and Simple" As the crowd became engulfed in the chant the Medicine Man from AZ, holding up above his head the nearest bunch of papers that he could reach, began to smile and walk towards the people shaking their hands and smiling.

The Driver of the True Talk Express Wagon seeing his cue pulled closer to the Medicine Man from AZ so that he could enter the Wagon from the rear and they could pull away before the crowd realized that they did not receive the plan. As the Medicine Man from AZ breathe a sigh of relief he sat down at his desk on the True Talk Express Wagon and instructed his apprentice to print a cover with a picture of his partner Simple Plain and print a title in ice block letters that read, " The Plain and Simple Plan" by the Medicine Man from AZ. The apprentice who was use to working quickly because of his long association with the Medicine Man from AZ was already finished before he was told. He pulled the first copy from one of the 35 Hewlett Packard Printers given to the Medicine Man from AZ by his dear friend who was the CEO of Hewlett Packard, Crying Foney and presented it to the boss. "What should we use for the content?" inquired the apprentice. The Medicine Man from AZ thought for a moment then said, " How about our dear friend PhilFlam Grams last report on the recession that is not a recession?" So the printers began to hum and thousands of copies of the "Plain and Simple Plan would be ready by the next town where the True Talk Express Wagon would meet up with the Medicine Man from AZ's new partner, Simple Plain who was flying in on Frozen Airways with a plane load of poached wolf meat that they were planning on repackaging and selling on the "Plunger Tour" as "The Meat that Plumbers Love".

Upon reaching the town of Canton, OH, the Medicine Man from AZ was attended to by his on board Makeup Artist who transformed his death like appearance into the face of a salesman. Just as the Makeup Artist was putting the finishing touches on her transformation of the Medicine Man from AZ, Simple Plain entered the True Talk Express Wagon with a yawn. "Ya Betcha, I'm tired, what a journey back to that cold tundra, I'm tired of that place, glad this'll be the last trip." The Medicine Man from AZ smiled a snide, lusting smile as Simple Plain removed her coat and reveled a low cut designer blouse that he had picked out for her to wear during "The Plunger Tour". "I can't understand how the Dark Wizard draws such big crowds", lamented the Medicine Man from AZ, "he doesn't even sell anything, all he does is talk, why do People want to see him talk? We have tried selling everything in the last 10 months, I even bought you those short skirts, we just can't draw the crowds. Did those Bibles come in that we had printed in Iraq? We have to start selling them right away. Maybe we can get our radio friends, Lush Limburger and Slick Insanity to push them to their audiences while we sell this Wolf Meat to the the workers. Can you raise your skirt a bit before we go out." "You betcha," replied Simple Plain and she folded over the top of her skirt two more inches.

Simple Plain and the Medicine Man from AZ walked out into the fall day to be greeted by a handful of hired hands dressed as everyday workers who were receiving their last minute instructions from the Tour Manager, Swindling Schmidt. As the the Medicine Man from AZ was about to enter the area he noticed boxes marked "Simple Plain Shirts". "What are they?", he asked Simple Plain. " Oh, just a little side business, a gal has to watch out for herself, ya know, you might dump me if we can't out draw the Dark Wizard. Just shirts I had sent from Afghanistan for my kids to sell on the side," she said with a secretive look. The Medicine Man from AZ pulled a red shirt from the box that said, "Simple Plain 2012" in bold white letters with a picture of Simple Plain in a suggestive bathing suit. "Simple Plain, are you leaving me?"questioned the the Medicine Man from AZ. "You betcha boss, ya know in a couple of days it will be all over for this gig. I gotta start appealing to Joe Six Pack, you never could, don't worry it's a whole different market you have the lobbyists, and I'll be with ya til the end of the Plunger Tour on November 5th boss. You know by then you will be done and no one will come to see you without me". After a long silence between the two, Simple Plain smiled and said, "Gotcha". The Medicine Man from AZ looked dejected as he turned to walk into the crowd and he began, "My Friends......."
Add to Google

No comments: